Handling the Holidays after divorce
The holidays are upon us, which means it’s time again to try and figure out how to keep your kids smiling through the season. If you’re divorced, family law attorney Darius Sethna has some tips on how you can make the holiday season more peaceful and enjoyable for everyone. Your traditional holiday plans were probably built over a number of years and have become part of what makes this time of year so special.
Now, during the holidays, you need to make sure both parents get quality time with their children. You need to make sure that important traditions are kept and that new traditions are established. Most importantly, you need to make sure you can work with your former partner, so everyone can enjoy the season.
Focus on making it special for the kids
Your holidays were probably built over a number of years and have become part of what makes this time of year so special. Whether it’s your own family traditions or those that you created with your ex-spouse, you may be feeling unsure about whether or not to continue the same traditions this year. In general, holiday planning is an excellent opportunity for families to come together during a difficult time. The holidays can also be a great way to heal and move on from divorce.
The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and remember that this is supposed to be fun. Don’t get yourself worked up over something that doesn’t matter in the long run. Your child won’t remember or care about what happened at Thanksgiving dinner after they’re grown! Instead, focus on making memories that will last forever.
It is important to get the children involved as much as you can. Let them choose one of the side dishes to go with your family dinner. Have them help pick out the wrapping paper or decorations and participate in setting up the house. When they have a voice and can help make new traditions with you, they will enjoy the holiday season more.
Share time with your former partner and be flexible
You and your ex-spouse should try to avoid creating conflict between each other at this time of year as well as during any other holiday season events such as birthdays or graduations. You likely have a parenting plan in place, so you must follow that as best as you can.
However, things always come up during the holidays. There are special events, parties, festivals, and other things that you may need to attend or that you may want your kids to attend. Keeping an open dialogue with your former partner can help make these events possible. You may need them to watch the kids an extra day, or you may want the kids for an extra day. Whatever the situation, being open and collaborative will help you enjoy the season.
If either of you happens to see each other in person during this time, keep interactions brief and polite; don’t engage in conflict if possible. If there’s any reason why one of you needs a favor from another, ask politely rather than making demands or shaming the other person into compliance.
If there is difficulty working with your former partner, you may need to consult with a lawyer. Family law attorney Darius Sethna, can help you make adjustments to your parenting plan, so the holidays go more smoothly. Contact us today for a consultation at (630) 574 – 3600.
Make sure you take some time for yourself
Although we tend to focus a lot on children during the holidays, it is important to take time for yourself. When they have time with your partner, make sure you do something to restore yourself. Maybe you just want to sit and read a good book with a nice glass of wine. Perhaps you want to go to the spa or get your nails done. You may need a girls night out on the town.
Whatever you need to maintain your energy and spirit through the holidays, make sure you do it. Family law attorney Darius Sethna, understands the importance of taking care of yourself. Especially during a time when there is a lot of pressure to make things memorable, you need to cut yourself some slack and manage your stress.
Family law attorney Darius Sethna can help you prepare for the holidays
Rather than experiencing the holidays alone or with a new family, you can work with family law attorney Darius Sethna to create a parenting plan that gives both parents quality time with their children. A good parenting plan will help you keep the holidays together. Once that plan is in place, you can enjoy the holidays by creating new traditions with your family and taking some time for yourself. Contact Sethna Cook Law today for a consultation.